Wednesday, May 2, 2007

so I like sex, ok?

I'm not sure how to make this deep, or anything. But I've run across a couple of things lately that make me feel like I should get this out there, for such limited values of "out there' as I have available, anyway.

I like sex. I, in fact, like sex with men, and with penises. I don't think this makes me not a feminist. I don't think enjoying penetrative sex means I'm buying into patriarchal gender opression. I, actually, don't even think that enjoying being tied down or hit with the variety of toys I keep in a white chest means I'm buying into etc. I can see why one might assume that, but there are a couple of things that always bubble frustratedly to my lips when reading such assumptions.

There are, out there in the wide world of everybody's-not-exactly-the-same, men who like to be tied down and beaten by women. There are men who do this with other men, and women who do it with other women. There are couples of whatever gender combination who swap back and forth who's getting hit -- this was my first introduction to kinky shit, as a matter of fact. I'm not saying that there aren't women who like to bottom because they've been fucked up in some way, or because they think that's their only option aside from lights-off-missionary-position. Ditto men who top. But I find it unfair to dismiss all BDSM based on these cases when others exist. I suppose it's hell on your arguments to acknowledge that there are people who enjoy both sides of power and sensation play though, since that makes it separable from opression. Oh well, those people are all freaks anyway, and shoudl be ignored. We know what's best for them.

Not to mention nonsexual BDSM. I enjoy being hit on the back with really heavy thick floggers (really, it's like massage). So every so often, usually after my college's fetish club has an informational meeting, I meet up with the current girlfriend of an ex of mine and she whacks me. All clothes remain on, and there is actually no power dynamic involved. She stops when I ask her to, or moves or lightens up. Because I enjoy the sensation, and she likes hitting people. She thanks me afterwards, which always makes me a bit confused since I feel like I got most of the fun out of it.

I can't say much on the topic of porn, really. I've posed for naked pictures, and felt like I was getting away with something to be paid for it. I'm cool with the idea that people I don't know might jerk off to them, though I'd prefer if they wouldn't actually tell me about this, as in the case of one particularly obnoxious guy at my college who found me on facebook. If it's objectifying, it's a type of objectification I'm ok with participating in, especially considering that I'm sure I get objectified walking down the street, and at least this time I got paid. I enjoy looking at porn, though most of it is unappealing to me. I still don't think this makes me not a feminist. Sure, maybe in that perfect world, there wouldn't be any porn, but until then, I'm living in this world, and I'm not enough of an idealist to think that attempting to get rid of porn is better than accepting it as a reality and working to make it better.

1 comment:

am i a bodyfascist? said...

kinky, kinky ...

hope you won't get dissed too much for speaking your mind and being honest and true. but if ever, that you don't let it put you down.

big thx for the hint to tiresias you left at my place. checked back on that and bingo! was exactly what i was looking for but couldn't come forth with. looks like you didn't go to school fer nuthin. contrary to me even remembered the name! nice one.